Shelter Information
 
 Helpful Links
 
DVIS Tulsa: 918.585.3163
DVIS Sapulpa 918.227.9290
 
If you or a friend are being abused in a way that you feel is wrong, use this check list to help determine if you should seek professional help
  • If you or a friend is unsure that she is being abused in a way that constitutes action, answer these questions.
  • Remember, when one person scares, hurts or continually puts down the other person, it's abuse.
AM I BEING ABUSED?
CHECKLIST
:
Does your partner…
____ Embarrass or make fun of you in front of your friends or family?
____ Does your partner have a gun?
____ Put down your accomplishments or goals?
____ Make you feel like you are unable to make decisions?
____ Use intimidation or threats to gain compliance?
____ Tell you that you are nothing without them?
____ Treat you roughly - grab, push, pinch, shove or hit you?
____ Call you several times a night or show up to make sure you are where you said you would be?
____ Use drugs or alcohol as an excuse for saying hurtful things or abusing you?
____ Blame you for how they feel or act?
____ Pressure you sexually for things you aren't ready for?
____ Make you feel like there "is no way out" of the relationship?
____ Prevent you from doing things you want - like spending time with your friends or family?
____ Try to keep you from leaving after a fight or leave you somewhere after a fight to "teach you a lesson"?
   
Do you…
____ Sometimes feel scared of how your partner will act?
____ Constantly make excuses to other people for your partner's behavior?
____ Believe that you can help your partner change if only you changed something about yourself?
____ Try not to do anything that would cause conflict or make your partner angry?
  Always do what your partner wants you to do instead of what you want?
____ Stay with you partner because you are afraid of what your partner would do if you broke-up?
   
If any of these are happening in your relationship, talk to someone. Without some help, the abuse will continue.

Adapted from Reading and Teaching Teens to Stop Violence, Nebraska Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault Coalition, Lincoln, NE.